trumpaganda: Now On Your Morning Commute!

Will anywhere be safe from Republican gaslighting, projection, and lies? Survey says: TRY AGAIN

This morning, like every other morning, I got in to my car and it did what it always does: turned on the radio. I’ve always been a fan of AM/FM radio, and my morning drive to the hell that is work is regularly soothed with some decent music from my reliable local stations. Something simple, predictable, and fun. Instead, I got blindsided by a voice, eerily cheerful and uncomfortably polished, telling me about “those people” ruining America. You already know the tone. That slick, dog-whistle-soaked rhetoric that stops just short of saying anything specific, but makes damn sure you fill in the blanks. You know, the real “read between the lines” stuff Republican talking points depend on.

Then came the punchline: surprise!! It’s Kristi Noem- yes, that Kristi Noem, the disgraced former governor and current dog-executioner/trump-megaphone, proud as ever, and starts singing the praises of the First Felon. Oh, trump is “protecting America” she says. He’s doing great things. Isn’t he soooo great? Vote for him. Support him. Obey. Or else…

I shut the damned thing off. Then I just… sat in silence. I finished driving to work in that silence, trying to forget what I’d just heard like I’d witnessed some kind of awful car wreck, but ending up with it just stewing in my head, marinating in my subconscience until I made it home, driving again in silence to get there.

But the day wasn’t done with me yet.

Hours later, I’m back in the car, this time about take my beautiful wife to work. Again, we’re just trying to relax before she grinds through another 12 hours in hell, so I think, Hey, let’s try music again. In had been just long enough, I let my guard down.

Not even ninety seconds in, there it was again. Kristi Noem, in full Stepford mode, practically threatening people through a goddamn radio campaign ad. Telling us what trump’s doing, what he’ll keep doing, how we should all fall in line.

It’s the middle of May in 2025.

We’re not even in a formal election year, yet here we are, being bombarded with trumpaganda as part of my daily routine. Like brushing my teeth. Or checking my mirrors.

Is this what the next four years are going to be? Are we seriously about to normalize state-sponsored psychological warfare disguised as commuter radio? Are these early campaign drops, or are we test subjects in a mass conditioning experiment designed to trick our brains into associating fascism with regular family-friendly programming?

Because I swear, this feels coordinated. Not just a one-off. A campaign. A message. A warning.

We used to call this kind of thing propaganda. Now it was just Tuesday.

It’s not even subtle. This wasn’t your average “paid for by so-and-so” political spots. It wasn’t a campaign ad. It was a dystopian infomercial drenched in blood-red, white, and blue. A commercial that starts with racist undertones and ends with not-so-veiled threats. As if Kristi Noem’s trying to get ahead of the game by softening us up before the real brainwashing kicks in.

And it’s working. Not on me, of course, but it’s working, because it reached me in a blue city in a blue state, which means no one’s stopping it. It’s going to be saturating the airwaves nationwide.

So, here’s my question to anyone listening: Have you heard these ads yet? Is this just local, or has Kristi Noem’s voice slithered its way into every car, every truck stop, every break room in America? Is this a one-state stunt or a national rollout of trumpaganda: the marketing campaign?

Because if this is the future of radio, if we’re going to be smothered by ad campaigns telling us how wonderful our orange overlord is while subtly warning us not to resist between every traffic report, then I’m out. I’ll rip out my car radio with my bare hands and enjoy righteous silence. I’ll start beatboxing. Anything.

But one thing is for certain: the era of MAGAmerican Propaganda has arrived.